Married at Fist Sight is the Nine Network's biggest rating realty TV show. For those who've had their head in the sand, three experts match a couple who meet for the first time at their wedding ceremony and do life together as a married couple afterwards to see if they can make it work.
It's ridiculous and it's trashy but I can't stop watching because I'm fascinated with human behaviour and how those behaviours play out in relationships. So what can we learn from MAFS 2024?
Timothy & Lucinda
Timothy has experienced a lot of loss. After his mother passed away, his brother tragically took his own life. His dad also passed away recently leaving him with a note saying "I don't like you." The way Timothy has dealt with this loss is to stuff it down and put on a stoic facade which has earned him the nickname "tin man".
Lucinda is the most patient, kind and gentle woman he could have hoped to be matched with and was a safe place to land when he eventually allowed himself to be vulnerable. Unfortunately, Timothy was so emotionally overwhelmed by his efforts to be vulnerable he decided that being vulnerable was not for him.
If you're dealing with anything similar, it's understandable that you'd want to stuff it down, forget about it and get on with life. Unfortunately, not dealing with it means not letting anyone in and potentially missing out on a healthy and intimate relationship with another human being. I encourage you to seek counseling and do the work. It's like peeling back layers of an onion. Peeling back a layer may emotionally exhaust you and tempt you to quit, but give yourself a little time to recover before peeling back the next layer.
Tristan & Cassandra
Tristan is one of the most genuine and likeable characters ever to appear on MAFS. He was an overweight child and suffered bullying as a result, leaving him with a poor self esteem. The collective hearts of the nation broke when we heard him say "I hate myself" on the couch at that commitment ceremony.
Cassandra was genuinely very pleased with her match and was keen for the relationship to progress, unfortunately, Tristan's continued difficulty with intimacy brought the relationship to a halt and the pair exited the "experiment" as friends with an abundance of praise for each other. We were all disappointed this lovely couple couldn't have had a better outcome.
Issues of low self-esteem will leave you vulnerable to choosing someone who won't treat you well, or on the flip side, cause you to push away someone who will treat you well! Dealing with this in counselling will put you in a better place for a healthy relationship.
Tori & Jack
Tori seems to have fallen under the spell of Jack, whose initial social blunders could have been written off as mistakes or misunderstandings, but as those social blunders began to pile up and were combined with his obvious fake feelings for Tori, we started to see a man of questionable character.
Despite the warnings of fellow participants and experts Tori just doesn't want to hear it. If someone points out a concern they have for your relationship, it's possible it's coming from a place of their own brokenness, but if those messages are coming from multiple sources you'd better listen up!